Love the person. See the grip.

In the reading

You search for love too, but you turn even love into ownership. You say, You are mine. Look carefully. Where the grip of mine is very deep, love slowly begins to turn into fear. Because what you consider your own, you begin to fear losing. Then you are not loving. You are seeking security. You are not loving the other person. You want him to complete your lack. And when he does not fulfill your expectation, anger comes. You say, You have changed. Perhaps he did not change. Perhaps your imagination broke.

Therefore knowing yourself is not leaving relationships. It is seeing your own unconsciousness inside relationships. When you love someone, look within. Can I see him as free? Can I be glad in his happiness, even if his happiness is not according to my wish? Can I understand him instead of holding him? If not, then perhaps there is more fear there than love. And giving fear the name of love is an old human habit.

Look at anger in the same way. When someone does not accept what you say, why does fire rise within you? Because your ego says: my word must be accepted. But have you ever asked why your word is so important? Your thought is only a thought. It is not the final truth. But the mind turns its thoughts into truth, and then takes every disagreement as an attack on its existence. This is why people keep fighting for years over small things.

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